HOW I FRAME THIS PART RELATES TO HOW
I HAVE ALWAYS WORKED A KITCHEN AND
NEVER LET A KITCHEN WORK ME!
I GREW UP ON DISH DETAIL AT HOME
TAKING TURNS BETWEEN WASH AND DRY
DRY WAS THE OPTION TO GO BACK OUTSIDE
THEN RETURN, COMPLETE THE TASK
AS PART OF A TEAM EFFORT ( COVERT OPERATION)
RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL AGE 17 YRS. OLD
BY A MONTH OR SO.
I CO-WORKED THE EMPLOYEE’S CAFETERIA
AT RESORTS INTERNATIONAL HOTEL CASINO
IN ATLANTIC CITY NEW JERSEY.
WHAT WAS REMARKABLE WAS THAT I WORKED ON
THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT OVERNIGHT AND ESSENTIALLY
WAS THE CAFETERIA MANAGER ON THE WEEKENDS.
SO THAT WAS ON MY TERMS, MY SHIFT.
NO SUPERVISOR SO I IMAGINE THAT BE ME.
I WORKED IN THE DIETARY DEPT.
IN A NURSING HOME WITH OUR CREW.
ONLY TIME I HAVE WORKED LEGIT IN THE PHILADELPHIA REGION.
I WAS IN THE PHILADELPHIA DETENTION CENTER ON A
MISTAKEN IDENTITY CASE FOR 2 MONTHS.
SNATCHED FROM THE STREET AFTER A STORE RUN
RANDOM ACT OF BEING PROFILED HELLO YOUR IT!
THAT WAS THE SUMMER OF ’93
YEAR MY FATHER (POP) TRANSITIONED
I ALSO WOUND UP ON KITCHEN DETAIL IN THE
A.C. COUNTY BOOT CAMP WHEN
I FIRST GOT THIS PRISON BOUND CASE.
NOW BACK TO THE STATE PRISON TERM
I FIRST WORKED THE BAKERY ALL OF TWO DAYS
HANDLING BREAD....TOO FUNNY
“JUST STACK THE BREAD”
NOWADAYS THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN URBAN RAGS TO RICHES STORY
OR A CHEAP THRILLS MUSIC VIDEO,
OH WELL UNTIL ON GETS CAUGHT.
ONLY MISTAKE EVER MADE WAS IN GETTING CAUGHT
(ANTI-SOCIAL TRAITS) HOPE THAT IS WHILE STILL BREATHING
AND LIVING TO OVERCOME THAT MISTAKE.
DOESN’T MEAN THAT GIVES ONE THE RIGHT TO KISS
DEATH AND LIVE TO TELL ( RISK TAKING)
NOT EVEN DURING A PLEA BARGAIN
MOST TELL NOW THAT’S ANOTHER STORY
IN OF ITSELF.
MANY GO THAT ROUTE.
BACK TO THE CULINARY PIECE
MY ROOMATES... 1 OF 3 WORKED IN THE KITCHEN
SO I APPLIED WITH THE CIVILIAN KITCHEN BOSS
MATTER OF FACT HE RECRUITED ME AND THAT WAS THE START.
SHORT VERSION WAS THE ALTERNATIVE ..
NOT MUCH OF ONE ANYWAYS WAS LIKE
HIGHWAY DETAIL, TICS, BUGS, LESS PAY AND NOT MUCH
MORALE TO SPEAK OF, PARADED AROUND THE STATES
HIGHWAYS AND BYWAYS WITH OVERSEERS
ARMED GUARDS.
SORRY NOT MY PICTURE OF WORK UNDER FIRE
NOR WORK FOR HIRE.
DIGNITY MIGHT BE THE LAST THING YOU GET BACK.
I BE DAMN IF I HAD TO GIVE IT ALL AWAY AT THE
VERY MENTION OR AT EACH AND EVERY MENTION.
RIGHT BACK IN THAT KITCHEN , I STARTED IN THE MIX
THEN THE MOVE UP ....I BECAME THE JUICE MAN.
THE MAN NEXT TO THE MAN.
LET’S SEE THERE WAS THE CIVILIAN BOSS
THE LEAD KITCHEN WORKER (STATE PRISONER) AND
THEN MYSELF (STATE PRISONER) THE JUICE MAN.
WELL OUT WITH THE OLD AND IN WITH THE NEW
THE OTHER GUY GOT A PAROLE DATE AND I GOT THE JOB.
I WAS GIVEN THE ALL OUT , CART BLANCHE (“JUICE”
TO MAKE THE JUICE..DO WHAT IT DO TO MAKE SOME
OF THE FROWNS GO AWAY...BRIGHTEN UP THE DAY.
I MADE THAT JUICE THE GO TO “PUNCH”
SO MUCH SO THAT BRINGING OVERSIZED JARS, CUPS, JUGS AND
TOO MANY REFILLS WAS OUT.
SEE ME NEXT MEAL FOR THE NEW TWIST
OR IMPROVED UPON RECIPE.
THE CIVILIAN HAD TO REEL ME BACK
AFTER FIRST GIVING ME THE ALL OUT
HE MADE ME HOLD BACK ON THE USE OF CONCENTRATE
THERE WAS NO LIMIT ON SUGAR
FUNNY THING WAS I CUT BACK ON SERVING THAT WHITE STUFF
THAT WASN’T MY GO TO.
I HAD TO PERFECT BEING A MIXOLOGIST
WHAT I FORGOT TO MENTION EARLIER
I WASN’T A BARTENDER THAT WAS MY OLDER BROTHER
BUT I SURE AS HELPED HIM MEMORIZE EVERY DRINK
I WAS A WORLD CLASS WAITER AT CAESAR’S PALACE IN ATLANTIC CITY N.J.
AT 20 YEARS OLD.
THOUSAND DOLLARS A WEEK CLEAR NO PROBLEM
THAT’S ANOTHER ERA AND ANOTHER TIME PERIOD
SOME POINT OF REFERENCE NOT TO BE OVERLOOKED
JUST NOT RIGHT NOW.
WELL I DIGRESS..SIDENOTE
I BECAME THE FIRST AF./AM. WAITER IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF
HOWARD JOHNSON’S MARVIN GARDENS RESTAURANT
WHAT AMBROSIA RESTAURANT WAS FORMERLY KNOWN AS AND
WHAT BUSINESS THE HOTEL CASINO TOOK OVER.
IMAGINE THAT IN 1984 ..... I WAS THE FIRST OF ANYTHING
LIKE BREAKING THROUGH A COLOR BARRIER!
NOW HERE I AM IN THE STATE PRISON KITCHEN WORKING
3 TIMES DAILY ALL 3 MEALTIMES WITH DOWNTIME IN BETWEEN.
HOW MUCH MORE FLEXIBLE WOULD I GET.
I HAD PRIVILEGE, STATUS, EXTRA FOOD CHOICES AND
JUST A POSITIVE SENSE OF IDENTITY.
MANY OTHERS HAD TO CARVE OUT A NICHE THAT INVOLVED MORE THAN THAT
SIMPLE WAS EASY AND CREATED THAT ROUTINE, PURPOSE AND DISCIPLINE.
I DIDN’T HAVE TO LOOK FOR TOO MUCH TO HAPPEN THAT COULDN’T BE FOUND ON A DAILY BASIS WITH ROUTINE.
I DON’T IMAGINE THAT HAVING A BUMP IN PAY TO BE THE NEXT IN CHARGE
OF THE KITCHEN COMPARES TO BEING APPROVED FOR
INTENSIVE SUPERVISED PAROLE ( ISP)
NO NEED TO HANG AROUND FOR A SCENARIO THAT DIDN’T LEAD
TO AN IMMEDIATE RELEASE FROM PRISON AT THIS POINT.
GUESS THAT WOULD ALSO HOLD TRUE FOR THE LAST GUY BEFORE
ME THAT GOT HIS PAROLE DATE AND STEPPED OFF.
ACTUALLY HOPE HE MADE A NEW LIFE AND IS DOING WELL FOR HIMSELF.
NO TELLING WHO RAN THAT KITCHEN AFTER WE BOTH LEFT BACK TO BACK.
DOESN’T MATTER MORE THAN TO BE A RETURNING CITIZEN BACK
IN THE COMMUNITY WITH NEW FOUND FREEDOMS.
THE FREEDOM I SPEAK OF MEANS IT’S NOT FREE
COMES WITH SOME MUST DO’S
THE NEED TO MAINTAIN AND NOT TO BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED
NOT NAMESAKE AND MORE IMPORTANTLY TO NOW BE REFERRED
TO BY YOUR GIVEN NAME AND NOT A STATE PRISONER NUMBER
THAT MAKES A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE RIGHT DOWN TO THE INDIVIDUAL
THIS INDIVIDUAL NAMELY MYSELF ANYWAY!
Thursday, January 28, 2016
TIMED SERVED ix
I COULD JUST REFLECT ENDLESSLY
EVEN DWELL ON TWO MAJOR CHARACTERS
WHO INFLUENCED ME TO WRITE MEMOIRS.
BOTH GUYS I REMAIN FOREVER IN THEIR DEBT.
I REFER TO THEM IN THAT REMEMBRANCE OFTEN.
KEY FOCUS WILL BE ON THE MOTIVATION TO
BE POSITIVE WHILE CREATING A HEALTHY CONTEXT.
PARTICULARLY AVOID ANY WAR STORIES OR
GLORIFYING ANY SORTED PAST.
COMMON THREAD IS TO UPLIFT THE MEMORY OF
BOTH WHILE HIGHLIGHTING THEIR
SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE ON MYSELF AND
THEIR ENCOURAGEMENT THAT I USE MY TALENT(S)
SKILLS, LEADERSHIP AND OF COURSE THE AUTHORIZED
RIGHT, DUTY EVEN (RITES OF PASSAGE) TO
MAKE SENSE OF WHAT WE ALL MEANT TO AND CONTINUE
TO MEAN TO EACH OTHER.
WRITING IN BOTH PAST AND PRESENT TENSE SEEMS A CHALLENGE
BUT THAT GOES WITH RETROSPECT AND POINTS OF REFERENCE
THAT MAY RELATE TIMELESS CHANGES, PROGRESS OR EVENTS.
THESE TWO CHARACTERS WERE SO MANY ALL WRAPPED UP INTO ONE.
EACH ONE I MENTION SEPARATELY ALTHOUGH
ANYONE WOULD BE HARD PRESSED TO SEPARATE ANY
ONE OF US FROM EACH OTHER.
WE HAD FAMILY BONDS THAT CONNECTED US FOR GENERATIONS.
THE LIFESTYLE WE LEAD CHOSE US.
WE ALSO MADE DECISIONS TO BE FRIENDS;
EXTENDED FAMILY CHOSEN FOR LIFE.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH RUCKUS
WE REPRESENTED TO EACH OTHER AND
HOW MUCH WE GOT ON EACH OTHERS’ NERVES
AND COULD TRIGGER RAW EMOTIONS
WE HAD EACH OTHER’S BACK.
WE JUST WERE SWORN TO BE EACH OTHER’S BROTHER’S KEEPER.
ONE OF THESE TWO WOULD SAY
“ MAN YOU GOTTA WRITE A BOOK AND PUT US ON THE MAP”
THE OTHER WOULD CHALLENGE ME UPON MY RETURN HOME
TO REMAIN AGGRESSIVE A TOP EARNER.
LIKE AS THOUGH MATERIAL GAIN; NICE THINGS; POSSESSIONS,
WERE A WAY TO RECLAIM BEING HOME AGAIN.
NOTICEABLE WAYS TO SAY I STILL WAS CAPABLE OF MAKING MOVES
SIGNALS THAT WE...ME... I WAS DOING WELL.
LIVING THAT OLD WAY WOULD ONLY SERVE TO
MAKE ME UNHEALTHY SPIRITUALLY.
I APPRECIATE THAT INSIDE MOTIVATION.
ON THE OUTSIDE I WAS TEMPERED AND POISED
TO BE PATIENT AND PRECISE ABOUT HOW
I REPOSITIONED MYSELF.
I CLEARLY HAD A PRESENCE AND POSITIVE OUTLOOK.
I PROJECTED CONFIDENCE AND THE NEED
TO BE HUMBLE AND PRACTICAL.
I ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS LET BOTH OF
MY GUYS KNOW I HAD UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR THEM BOTH.
I KNEW I JUST DIDN’T NEED TO SUBJECT NOR SUSPECT TO THESE
MEAN STREETS ...YEAH THESE SAME STREETS DON’T LOVE NOBODY
IT TAKES A FOOL TO LEARN AND A SMART PERSON TO AVOID BEING
BURNED.
I CLAIMED MY FREEDOM BY BURYING MY PAST
WELL AS MUCH OF IT AS I COULD STILL TO THIS DAY.
NO HAUNTS NO WORRIES BUT THERE ARE DAYS AND REASONS THAT HURT.
PEACE OF MIND AND CLEAR CONSCIOUS WAS KEY TO BEING
AN UPSTANDING PERSON PRODUCTIVE IN THE COMMUNITY
AND SOCIETY AT LARGE.
PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY THAT CLASSIC LINE!
PAYING MY DUES AND SETTING RULES TO GET AHEAD WAS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN JUST GOING ALONG FOR THE RIDE.
DIDN’T FIND MYSELF BEING A FOLLOWER IN THAT REGARD
SO I WASN’T ABOUT TO SOUND LIKE THERE WAS A GREAT CHANCE
OF ANY NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE.
I WAS BETTER SERVED BY CLEAR BOUNDARIES THAT I
REINFORCED AND MAINTAINED EVEN TO THIS DAY NO SURPRISES THERE.
NOW HERE IS THE UPSIDE DOWN PART TO BOTH OF THESE GUYS STORY.
I SPENT QUALITY TIME WITH BOTH BEFORE AND AFTER MY PRISON TERM.
SHARED GOOD LAUGHS.. TOLD STORIES ONLY WE KNEW ABOUT
SUCH AS CHARACTERS; ANTICS, STRANGE REASONS; ATTITUDES
WHO WAS SOBER OR NOT, JUST PLAIN CRAZY PERIODS
IN A TIME AND SPACE WE SURVIVED.
OFTEN WE COULD SPEAK ABOUT HOW SOME OF THE OTHERS
HAD IT THE SAME, BETTER OR WORSE.
I WOULD HAVE TO HONESTLY SAY
I SURELY MISS BOTH IN MY OWN WAY.
YES BOTH WERE SETTLED DOWN AND MOVED
FROM RENTED SPACE TO BECOME HOMEOWNERS.
RIGHT THEN THEY BOTH PASSED AWAY.
WOW I AM TOUCHED RIGHT NOW
BEFORE THE INK EVEN HITS THE PAPER
GUESS I WOULD AVOID SMEARING MY WORDS.
SAY I WAS SPEAKING THERE WOULD BE A PAUSE.
SIGH OF RELIEF COMES IN KNOWING
ONLY WE KNEW HOW MUCH WE REALLY CARED
ABOUT EACH OTHER GROWING UP TO GROWN MEN.
WE WERE AT SOME POINT GROWING FROM BOYS TO MEN.
CORNER BOYS, HOMIES, ROADIES,
SQUAD FOR LIFE.
LIFE WAS JUST BETTER KNOWING OUR CREW WAS
FROM THE 5500 BBLOCK THAT MADE US MADE MEN.
WE DON’T CONDONE PAST ACTION BUT CERTAINLY
HAD SO MUCH MUTUAL CONCERN
PAST HISTORY AND SO MUCH
HOPE FOR THE FUTURE.
MANY TIMES THAT FUTURE WAS JUST
TO MAKE IT TO SUNRISE.
WHEN I FIRST DRAFTED THESE WORDS
SO LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THESE LINES
WOULD DESCRIBE THE PASSING OF SOME OF
THE MOST ENDEARING LIFELONG FRIENDS
I’LL EVER HONOR AND RESPECT
FOR ALL THE DAYS OF MY NEW AND OLD LIFE.
SO I PAY HOMAGE TO THE LIFE AND TIMES
FROM SUNRISE TO SUNSET
WE DON’T REGRET
WE DON’T FORGET EACH OTHER
“INSPIRATION IS TO BE INSPIRED” KQS
THANKS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
READ ABOUT THESE GUYS IN ANOTHER TIME
AND SPACE.
YES ANOTHER BOOK TITLE TO BE NAMED
I KNOW THE NAME NOT TO BE RELEASED YET THOUGH.
EVEN DWELL ON TWO MAJOR CHARACTERS
WHO INFLUENCED ME TO WRITE MEMOIRS.
BOTH GUYS I REMAIN FOREVER IN THEIR DEBT.
I REFER TO THEM IN THAT REMEMBRANCE OFTEN.
KEY FOCUS WILL BE ON THE MOTIVATION TO
BE POSITIVE WHILE CREATING A HEALTHY CONTEXT.
PARTICULARLY AVOID ANY WAR STORIES OR
GLORIFYING ANY SORTED PAST.
COMMON THREAD IS TO UPLIFT THE MEMORY OF
BOTH WHILE HIGHLIGHTING THEIR
SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE ON MYSELF AND
THEIR ENCOURAGEMENT THAT I USE MY TALENT(S)
SKILLS, LEADERSHIP AND OF COURSE THE AUTHORIZED
RIGHT, DUTY EVEN (RITES OF PASSAGE) TO
MAKE SENSE OF WHAT WE ALL MEANT TO AND CONTINUE
TO MEAN TO EACH OTHER.
WRITING IN BOTH PAST AND PRESENT TENSE SEEMS A CHALLENGE
BUT THAT GOES WITH RETROSPECT AND POINTS OF REFERENCE
THAT MAY RELATE TIMELESS CHANGES, PROGRESS OR EVENTS.
THESE TWO CHARACTERS WERE SO MANY ALL WRAPPED UP INTO ONE.
EACH ONE I MENTION SEPARATELY ALTHOUGH
ANYONE WOULD BE HARD PRESSED TO SEPARATE ANY
ONE OF US FROM EACH OTHER.
WE HAD FAMILY BONDS THAT CONNECTED US FOR GENERATIONS.
THE LIFESTYLE WE LEAD CHOSE US.
WE ALSO MADE DECISIONS TO BE FRIENDS;
EXTENDED FAMILY CHOSEN FOR LIFE.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH RUCKUS
WE REPRESENTED TO EACH OTHER AND
HOW MUCH WE GOT ON EACH OTHERS’ NERVES
AND COULD TRIGGER RAW EMOTIONS
WE HAD EACH OTHER’S BACK.
WE JUST WERE SWORN TO BE EACH OTHER’S BROTHER’S KEEPER.
ONE OF THESE TWO WOULD SAY
“ MAN YOU GOTTA WRITE A BOOK AND PUT US ON THE MAP”
THE OTHER WOULD CHALLENGE ME UPON MY RETURN HOME
TO REMAIN AGGRESSIVE A TOP EARNER.
LIKE AS THOUGH MATERIAL GAIN; NICE THINGS; POSSESSIONS,
WERE A WAY TO RECLAIM BEING HOME AGAIN.
NOTICEABLE WAYS TO SAY I STILL WAS CAPABLE OF MAKING MOVES
SIGNALS THAT WE...ME... I WAS DOING WELL.
LIVING THAT OLD WAY WOULD ONLY SERVE TO
MAKE ME UNHEALTHY SPIRITUALLY.
I APPRECIATE THAT INSIDE MOTIVATION.
ON THE OUTSIDE I WAS TEMPERED AND POISED
TO BE PATIENT AND PRECISE ABOUT HOW
I REPOSITIONED MYSELF.
I CLEARLY HAD A PRESENCE AND POSITIVE OUTLOOK.
I PROJECTED CONFIDENCE AND THE NEED
TO BE HUMBLE AND PRACTICAL.
I ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS LET BOTH OF
MY GUYS KNOW I HAD UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR THEM BOTH.
I KNEW I JUST DIDN’T NEED TO SUBJECT NOR SUSPECT TO THESE
MEAN STREETS ...YEAH THESE SAME STREETS DON’T LOVE NOBODY
IT TAKES A FOOL TO LEARN AND A SMART PERSON TO AVOID BEING
BURNED.
I CLAIMED MY FREEDOM BY BURYING MY PAST
WELL AS MUCH OF IT AS I COULD STILL TO THIS DAY.
NO HAUNTS NO WORRIES BUT THERE ARE DAYS AND REASONS THAT HURT.
PEACE OF MIND AND CLEAR CONSCIOUS WAS KEY TO BEING
AN UPSTANDING PERSON PRODUCTIVE IN THE COMMUNITY
AND SOCIETY AT LARGE.
PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY THAT CLASSIC LINE!
PAYING MY DUES AND SETTING RULES TO GET AHEAD WAS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN JUST GOING ALONG FOR THE RIDE.
DIDN’T FIND MYSELF BEING A FOLLOWER IN THAT REGARD
SO I WASN’T ABOUT TO SOUND LIKE THERE WAS A GREAT CHANCE
OF ANY NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE.
I WAS BETTER SERVED BY CLEAR BOUNDARIES THAT I
REINFORCED AND MAINTAINED EVEN TO THIS DAY NO SURPRISES THERE.
NOW HERE IS THE UPSIDE DOWN PART TO BOTH OF THESE GUYS STORY.
I SPENT QUALITY TIME WITH BOTH BEFORE AND AFTER MY PRISON TERM.
SHARED GOOD LAUGHS.. TOLD STORIES ONLY WE KNEW ABOUT
SUCH AS CHARACTERS; ANTICS, STRANGE REASONS; ATTITUDES
WHO WAS SOBER OR NOT, JUST PLAIN CRAZY PERIODS
IN A TIME AND SPACE WE SURVIVED.
OFTEN WE COULD SPEAK ABOUT HOW SOME OF THE OTHERS
HAD IT THE SAME, BETTER OR WORSE.
I WOULD HAVE TO HONESTLY SAY
I SURELY MISS BOTH IN MY OWN WAY.
YES BOTH WERE SETTLED DOWN AND MOVED
FROM RENTED SPACE TO BECOME HOMEOWNERS.
RIGHT THEN THEY BOTH PASSED AWAY.
WOW I AM TOUCHED RIGHT NOW
BEFORE THE INK EVEN HITS THE PAPER
GUESS I WOULD AVOID SMEARING MY WORDS.
SAY I WAS SPEAKING THERE WOULD BE A PAUSE.
SIGH OF RELIEF COMES IN KNOWING
ONLY WE KNEW HOW MUCH WE REALLY CARED
ABOUT EACH OTHER GROWING UP TO GROWN MEN.
WE WERE AT SOME POINT GROWING FROM BOYS TO MEN.
CORNER BOYS, HOMIES, ROADIES,
SQUAD FOR LIFE.
LIFE WAS JUST BETTER KNOWING OUR CREW WAS
FROM THE 5500 BBLOCK THAT MADE US MADE MEN.
WE DON’T CONDONE PAST ACTION BUT CERTAINLY
HAD SO MUCH MUTUAL CONCERN
PAST HISTORY AND SO MUCH
HOPE FOR THE FUTURE.
MANY TIMES THAT FUTURE WAS JUST
TO MAKE IT TO SUNRISE.
WHEN I FIRST DRAFTED THESE WORDS
SO LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THESE LINES
WOULD DESCRIBE THE PASSING OF SOME OF
THE MOST ENDEARING LIFELONG FRIENDS
I’LL EVER HONOR AND RESPECT
FOR ALL THE DAYS OF MY NEW AND OLD LIFE.
SO I PAY HOMAGE TO THE LIFE AND TIMES
FROM SUNRISE TO SUNSET
WE DON’T REGRET
WE DON’T FORGET EACH OTHER
“INSPIRATION IS TO BE INSPIRED” KQS
THANKS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
READ ABOUT THESE GUYS IN ANOTHER TIME
AND SPACE.
YES ANOTHER BOOK TITLE TO BE NAMED
I KNOW THE NAME NOT TO BE RELEASED YET THOUGH.
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
TIMED SERVED viii
EXERCISING THE MIND
ELEVATING MY SPIRIT
REBUILDING MY BODY
LIVING IN THE TEMPLE
FUNDAMENTAL BASIC TRAINING
TO STAY FREE ~ BE FREE
LIKE GET BUSY LIVING OR
DIE A THOUSAND COWARD’S DEATHS
I WAS DOING MY TIME ...NOT LETTING THE
TIME DO ME
DEFINITELY WAS A CAGED BIRD
DETERMINED TO BE FREE AGAIN.
QUESTION WASN’T EVEN A MATTER OF TIME
RATHER WAS MORE OF MIND OVER WHAT MATTERS.
EFFORTS PAID OFF IN ALL THOSE SUBTLE AREAS LIKE
EVEN THE PLAYFUL HEART AT EASE.
MUTUAL RESPECT FOR SELF AND OTHERS
BROUGHT ME A LONG WAY IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.
WHAT I SPEAK TO IS EXACTLY HOW
I CAME TO BE RELEASED AND HOME STANDING
165 LBS. CHISELED...ROCK SOLID...CARVED OUT OF
A DOGON MOUNTAIN
OF HOPE FOR BETTER NOT WORSE.
DISCIPLINE, PATIENCE, PERSEVERANCE,
STRICTLY FOCUSED ON DETAILS.
SO MUCH EMPHASIS WENT INTO
EAT RIGHT...WORK OUT...SLEEP
THEN REPEAT..REPEAT....THEN
THE ONLY OPTION WAS OF COURSE
REPEAT.
ALL ADDED UP.
I WAS WORKING OUT WITH ONE OF THE TOP TWO WORK OUT CREWS.
NON-STOP ...NO RETREAT...NO SURRENDER...NO EXCUSES
NO SHORTS ACCEPTED, YOU OWE YOU PAY UP ON THE SPOT
PUSH UPS, PULL UPS, WEIGHTS, MORE WEIGHTS
LESS WEIGHTS...MORE REPS.
NO PLAY, JUST SHUT UP..PUT UP.
NO LIMIT MEANT PUSH TO THE LIMIT AND THE CHALLENGE
WAS WAITING TO SHOW UP IN DO MORE
FIND A REASON ...DO IT FOR YOUR SON OR JUST BECAUSE
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT TO LOSE?
LIKE AS THOUGH...LOCKED UP WITH TIME
TO DO WASN’T ENOUGH.
THERE IS NO FAIL TO BELIEVE
JUST ROOOM TO GROW.
BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT
ROUTINE BROKE UP THE OBVIOUS
I TOOK TO RUNNING LIKE
I’VE ALWAYS APPROACHED RUNNING
RUNNING TOWARDS
NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM
THERE WAS JUST THIS
SMALL REMINDER THAT
5-6 MILES IS ABOUT THE
SMALLEST DISTANCE I TRAVEL IN MY MIND.
I RUN TO SETTLE MY THOUGHTS
NOT TO ANTICIPATE NOR BE RACING AROUND
PLACES ESPECIALLY NOT IN MY OWN MIND.
TRUTH BE TOLD SOMETIMES I RAN
TO BE ALL UP IN THE MIND OF OTHERS
LET ME EXPLAIN ...I WOULD BE BETTER PREPARED
TO DOWNPLAY STRESS ... OR A POWERPLAY
WHEN I CAN BE IN TUNE WITH MY OWN MINDSET
PLUS I RATHER BE IN COMMAND OF MY OWN FACULTIES
WHILE SURROUNDED BY CHAOS.
I COULD FILTER OUT MY EMOTIONS AND
REDIRECT NEGATIVE ENERGY.
I’M LEAST LIKELY TO SHOW AN EMOTIONAL REACTION
AND DON’T HAVE TO EXPOSE WHAT LOSS OF SELF CONTROL
I COULD DISPLAY WHEN I HAD ALREADY DECOMPRESSED.
THE CONSISTENCY THAT I SHOWED CARRIED
OVER FROM THE COUNTY JAIL BOOT CAMP LEGEND
JUST BEING IN THE RANKS
ONE OF THE COMRADES
LIONHEARTED...FIERCE
UNWAVERING SOLDIER OF THE NEW FUTURE.
I WAS BEING WAGERED ON...FOR INSTANCE
THERE WAS OPEN DISCUSSION OF ME RUNNING UP
AGAINST A FREE SPIRIT ( RUNNER) THAT HAD
BEEN RUNNING 10 MILES A DAY FOR LIKE 6 YEARS
THE CHALLENGE WAS THAT I COULD MEASURE
UP TO THOSE TERMS ...THAT TRIAL...
I FIGURED HE WAS RUNNING
TO STAY FREE
HE TOO WAS RUNNING TO SAVE HIS LIFE
HIS SPIRITUAL AND MENTAL SELF
I DIDN’T HAVE TO SAVE FACE
I RAN WITH HIM WITH HUMILITY AND GRACE
SOMEHOW THIS WAS THE UNSPOKEN CHALLENGE
AND THE OVERALL TRIUMPH
I MUST SAY HE JUST WAS KICKING UP DIRT AND DUST
AND ANYTHING THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HEAVY
HE JUST LEFT IN HIS PAST
KNOWING WHAT I REMEMBER
REMEMBERING WHAT I KNOW
BEING ADMIRED WAS ONE THING ...BUT
BEING ALL SQUEEZED AND FELT ON...POKED AT
BY MY MOM AND HER GIRLFRIEND (OUR NEIGHBOR)
WAS SO FUNNY AND SHORT LIVED.
REMEMBER THIS, THIS BODY WAS BUILT ON
SOLID GROUND, NOT CHEAP THRILLS.
COMING FROM WHERE I JUST LEFT,
THE BACKDROP SETTING WAS PRISON
I WASN’T ANYONE’S EYE CANDY.
PRISON NOT SWEET LIKE THAT,
NOT TO BE GLORIFIED EITHER
MORE THAN SENSATIONALIZED GLADIATORS.
WHAT I FOUND IN THAT PLACE LIKE THAT WAS
COMMON NOT DIFFERENCES TO RELATE.
WHILE I FOCUSED ON CARVING OUT MY
MIND BODY TRANSFORMATION.
THE ONLY OTHER INFORMATION WAS
THAT YOU LET PEOPLE
BE THEMSELVES AND THEN
YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THE PROCESS
ACTUALLY I WASN’T DOWN AND OUT IN PRISON
I WAS BEING SHOWN A WAY OUT
ELEVATING MY SPIRIT
REBUILDING MY BODY
LIVING IN THE TEMPLE
FUNDAMENTAL BASIC TRAINING
TO STAY FREE ~ BE FREE
LIKE GET BUSY LIVING OR
DIE A THOUSAND COWARD’S DEATHS
I WAS DOING MY TIME ...NOT LETTING THE
TIME DO ME
DEFINITELY WAS A CAGED BIRD
DETERMINED TO BE FREE AGAIN.
QUESTION WASN’T EVEN A MATTER OF TIME
RATHER WAS MORE OF MIND OVER WHAT MATTERS.
EFFORTS PAID OFF IN ALL THOSE SUBTLE AREAS LIKE
EVEN THE PLAYFUL HEART AT EASE.
MUTUAL RESPECT FOR SELF AND OTHERS
BROUGHT ME A LONG WAY IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.
WHAT I SPEAK TO IS EXACTLY HOW
I CAME TO BE RELEASED AND HOME STANDING
165 LBS. CHISELED...ROCK SOLID...CARVED OUT OF
A DOGON MOUNTAIN
OF HOPE FOR BETTER NOT WORSE.
DISCIPLINE, PATIENCE, PERSEVERANCE,
STRICTLY FOCUSED ON DETAILS.
SO MUCH EMPHASIS WENT INTO
EAT RIGHT...WORK OUT...SLEEP
THEN REPEAT..REPEAT....THEN
THE ONLY OPTION WAS OF COURSE
REPEAT.
ALL ADDED UP.
I WAS WORKING OUT WITH ONE OF THE TOP TWO WORK OUT CREWS.
NON-STOP ...NO RETREAT...NO SURRENDER...NO EXCUSES
NO SHORTS ACCEPTED, YOU OWE YOU PAY UP ON THE SPOT
PUSH UPS, PULL UPS, WEIGHTS, MORE WEIGHTS
LESS WEIGHTS...MORE REPS.
NO PLAY, JUST SHUT UP..PUT UP.
NO LIMIT MEANT PUSH TO THE LIMIT AND THE CHALLENGE
WAS WAITING TO SHOW UP IN DO MORE
FIND A REASON ...DO IT FOR YOUR SON OR JUST BECAUSE
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT TO LOSE?
LIKE AS THOUGH...LOCKED UP WITH TIME
TO DO WASN’T ENOUGH.
THERE IS NO FAIL TO BELIEVE
JUST ROOOM TO GROW.
BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT
ROUTINE BROKE UP THE OBVIOUS
I TOOK TO RUNNING LIKE
I’VE ALWAYS APPROACHED RUNNING
RUNNING TOWARDS
NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM
THERE WAS JUST THIS
SMALL REMINDER THAT
5-6 MILES IS ABOUT THE
SMALLEST DISTANCE I TRAVEL IN MY MIND.
I RUN TO SETTLE MY THOUGHTS
NOT TO ANTICIPATE NOR BE RACING AROUND
PLACES ESPECIALLY NOT IN MY OWN MIND.
TRUTH BE TOLD SOMETIMES I RAN
TO BE ALL UP IN THE MIND OF OTHERS
LET ME EXPLAIN ...I WOULD BE BETTER PREPARED
TO DOWNPLAY STRESS ... OR A POWERPLAY
WHEN I CAN BE IN TUNE WITH MY OWN MINDSET
PLUS I RATHER BE IN COMMAND OF MY OWN FACULTIES
WHILE SURROUNDED BY CHAOS.
I COULD FILTER OUT MY EMOTIONS AND
REDIRECT NEGATIVE ENERGY.
I’M LEAST LIKELY TO SHOW AN EMOTIONAL REACTION
AND DON’T HAVE TO EXPOSE WHAT LOSS OF SELF CONTROL
I COULD DISPLAY WHEN I HAD ALREADY DECOMPRESSED.
THE CONSISTENCY THAT I SHOWED CARRIED
OVER FROM THE COUNTY JAIL BOOT CAMP LEGEND
JUST BEING IN THE RANKS
ONE OF THE COMRADES
LIONHEARTED...FIERCE
UNWAVERING SOLDIER OF THE NEW FUTURE.
I WAS BEING WAGERED ON...FOR INSTANCE
THERE WAS OPEN DISCUSSION OF ME RUNNING UP
AGAINST A FREE SPIRIT ( RUNNER) THAT HAD
BEEN RUNNING 10 MILES A DAY FOR LIKE 6 YEARS
THE CHALLENGE WAS THAT I COULD MEASURE
UP TO THOSE TERMS ...THAT TRIAL...
I FIGURED HE WAS RUNNING
TO STAY FREE
HE TOO WAS RUNNING TO SAVE HIS LIFE
HIS SPIRITUAL AND MENTAL SELF
I DIDN’T HAVE TO SAVE FACE
I RAN WITH HIM WITH HUMILITY AND GRACE
SOMEHOW THIS WAS THE UNSPOKEN CHALLENGE
AND THE OVERALL TRIUMPH
I MUST SAY HE JUST WAS KICKING UP DIRT AND DUST
AND ANYTHING THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HEAVY
HE JUST LEFT IN HIS PAST
KNOWING WHAT I REMEMBER
REMEMBERING WHAT I KNOW
BEING ADMIRED WAS ONE THING ...BUT
BEING ALL SQUEEZED AND FELT ON...POKED AT
BY MY MOM AND HER GIRLFRIEND (OUR NEIGHBOR)
WAS SO FUNNY AND SHORT LIVED.
REMEMBER THIS, THIS BODY WAS BUILT ON
SOLID GROUND, NOT CHEAP THRILLS.
COMING FROM WHERE I JUST LEFT,
THE BACKDROP SETTING WAS PRISON
I WASN’T ANYONE’S EYE CANDY.
PRISON NOT SWEET LIKE THAT,
NOT TO BE GLORIFIED EITHER
MORE THAN SENSATIONALIZED GLADIATORS.
WHAT I FOUND IN THAT PLACE LIKE THAT WAS
COMMON NOT DIFFERENCES TO RELATE.
WHILE I FOCUSED ON CARVING OUT MY
MIND BODY TRANSFORMATION.
THE ONLY OTHER INFORMATION WAS
THAT YOU LET PEOPLE
BE THEMSELVES AND THEN
YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THE PROCESS
ACTUALLY I WASN’T DOWN AND OUT IN PRISON
I WAS BEING SHOWN A WAY OUT
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
TIME SERVED© vii
The Visitor
Who exactly was the visitor that held the key to reason for me, following up with the 6yr. plea bargain/prison term.
I accepted yes guilty as charged.
I would have to go a little ways backto meeting him during fellowship.
The important fact was we met during religious service while I was in Jersey.
However since released on bail I spent my days in Philly low key.
Continued to attend service just change of community.
The most truthful fact most communities when healthy become small and intimate.
Outreach extends to visitors that gather, fellowship, and worship.
Connecting people from the surrounding region more often than not. This held true for this particular neighborhood and community. I was spending my time near where my mother lives.
Significant was that the close sentencing date approached in Superior Court.
The most opposite thoughts were being presented to me by the most unsuspecting source possible.
I could think of actually too close forcomfort. Yes both the individual and the craziness to just disappear,start over by any means necessary.
One of the other outstanding factors is that i do have voice of reason represented by a a very small circle of influence.
However selective it may seem, I wasn't in direct contact with most.
I had daily prayer in congregation, but it wasn't until within days left that I disclosed in private that i had this serious matter to deal with.
Once it was made public, I was consiled, reassured and reinforced.
Now confidence grew knowing the entire congregation was praying as an intercession on my behalf for mercy and blessings.
Well I supposed that part.
Never had I imagined to be the center of this attention.
This felt welcoming, heartfelt and impactful.
The common ground was that it was only through humility, that my actions matched my behavior.
I matched up, presented myself worthy and decent.,
Considering all matters, I was embraced without judgment nor having to explain away my past.
Past meant just that, past.
I really did have a new start in manyareas of my life.
New beginning regardless of old business.
The current business at hand was doing "the time".
I would often see my best friend's Uncle "Unc"so I didn't dare share that I was considering the craziness of just disappearing from sight.
Yall know how that one goes "I'll pay up when they catch up".
Only thing is that, that way of thinking went so far in the direction of code of the street/rules of the game.
Again all mind traps set to one trigger device.
Best things hapoen for a reason.
Namely I'm pretty much unpredictable still.
So on any given situation there are risk and variables unexplained.
Current situation is not, did not involve me being impulsive nor irrational.
I was really seeking proper guidance and sound advice.
The Visitor walks into the scene the traveling merchant from Jersey.
The custom when travelling is to seek a house of worship.
Brother walks in and I greet him.
I had been keeping a religious vigil a sit in so to speak.
Not leaving in between prayer, after lectures and gatherings.
Most I could say about matters solved.
Brother was sincere, compassionate, concerned and wise.
All that and direct as possible.
Basically he provided me with a scenario of being on the run.
Living as a fugitive and looking over my shoulder.
None of that sounded inviting.
Not ever promising, nor something worthy of producing character.
Done deal, signed and delivered.
The matter was simple math.
I would not spend one day with the official jumped bail.fugitive of justice, living on the lamb status.
No illusion of "Gangster Paradise ".
No grand destination.
No flight to avoid prosecution.
No scandal.
No thanks period.
I voted for Faith and Gratitude.
Who exactly was the visitor that held the key to reason for me, following up with the 6yr. plea bargain/prison term.
I accepted yes guilty as charged.
I would have to go a little ways backto meeting him during fellowship.
The important fact was we met during religious service while I was in Jersey.
However since released on bail I spent my days in Philly low key.
Continued to attend service just change of community.
The most truthful fact most communities when healthy become small and intimate.
Outreach extends to visitors that gather, fellowship, and worship.
Connecting people from the surrounding region more often than not. This held true for this particular neighborhood and community. I was spending my time near where my mother lives.
Significant was that the close sentencing date approached in Superior Court.
The most opposite thoughts were being presented to me by the most unsuspecting source possible.
I could think of actually too close forcomfort. Yes both the individual and the craziness to just disappear,start over by any means necessary.
One of the other outstanding factors is that i do have voice of reason represented by a a very small circle of influence.
However selective it may seem, I wasn't in direct contact with most.
I had daily prayer in congregation, but it wasn't until within days left that I disclosed in private that i had this serious matter to deal with.
Once it was made public, I was consiled, reassured and reinforced.
Now confidence grew knowing the entire congregation was praying as an intercession on my behalf for mercy and blessings.
Well I supposed that part.
Never had I imagined to be the center of this attention.
This felt welcoming, heartfelt and impactful.
The common ground was that it was only through humility, that my actions matched my behavior.
I matched up, presented myself worthy and decent.,
Considering all matters, I was embraced without judgment nor having to explain away my past.
Past meant just that, past.
I really did have a new start in manyareas of my life.
New beginning regardless of old business.
The current business at hand was doing "the time".
I would often see my best friend's Uncle "Unc"so I didn't dare share that I was considering the craziness of just disappearing from sight.
Yall know how that one goes "I'll pay up when they catch up".
Only thing is that, that way of thinking went so far in the direction of code of the street/rules of the game.
Again all mind traps set to one trigger device.
Best things hapoen for a reason.
Namely I'm pretty much unpredictable still.
So on any given situation there are risk and variables unexplained.
Current situation is not, did not involve me being impulsive nor irrational.
I was really seeking proper guidance and sound advice.
The Visitor walks into the scene the traveling merchant from Jersey.
The custom when travelling is to seek a house of worship.
Brother walks in and I greet him.
I had been keeping a religious vigil a sit in so to speak.
Not leaving in between prayer, after lectures and gatherings.
Most I could say about matters solved.
Brother was sincere, compassionate, concerned and wise.
All that and direct as possible.
Basically he provided me with a scenario of being on the run.
Living as a fugitive and looking over my shoulder.
None of that sounded inviting.
Not ever promising, nor something worthy of producing character.
Done deal, signed and delivered.
The matter was simple math.
I would not spend one day with the official jumped bail.fugitive of justice, living on the lamb status.
No illusion of "Gangster Paradise ".
No grand destination.
No flight to avoid prosecution.
No scandal.
No thanks period.
I voted for Faith and Gratitude.
Monday, January 4, 2016
TIME SERVED* vi
Cause and effect
well here I was at the crossroads see for me I was experiencing the longest day of my life.
I was convicted, aware of sentence and conveniently on posted bail.
Bail conditions were that I would remain “ free” in the community until date of surrender
in January 1998.
I know the day was long because prayer in congregation was before 5:00 a.m.
I read some until the laundromat on the corner opened at 7:00 a.m.
Chores wasn’t unusual in itself, being domestic no problem.
Delaying the inevitable wasn’t probable nor realistic.
I wasn’t on sabotage, rather on self preservation ( primary defenses)
human nature being as it may I was going to State Prison later that day,
but just not exactly at that moment.
Ever reminding me was Mom “ don’t you have somewhere to be”.
None of my thoughts were misdirected so I did internalize her statement.
I most likely had a valid and appropriate response, just didn’t voice it.
Like no I’m not going grocery shopping next!
I was in charge of me and with Faith not self destructive.
Up until this time I was more recently not self destructive and was
productive in the community, having quality times to nurture my only son
on occasion whenever possible.
Self discipline fosters balanced emotions that lead to responsible actions.
Now here it is with all that being said.
I was the only one responsible for surrendering myself to be taken into custody
in N.J. Superior Courthouse.
Imagine that contributed to the time spent reflecting, thinking, projecting even.
Thoughts were self centered quite naturally about time....”doing time”
So here I am on a rainy friday in January 1998 “playing phone tag”
Fat Kid was involved as the street representative what a politician that guy
making calls back and forth to the court clerk. Thanks for the effort and even
more not being in a position to drive me directly up to the front door.
The attempt was just to delay the inevitable the obvious it’s better to go and get it over with.
Reality was that another weekend was going to change my course.
I did have the mature decision inside of me all along to not let the posted bail be forfeited
and not returned.
I didn’t post the bail, didn’t ask for it to be posted, was grateful.
There was a motive that became exposed later, that part revealed itself
to be more about property, guilt and false expectations, mostly others and not mine.
Finally it was determined that I was in route but would miss the appointed court time but not be self defeating and miss the court date.
No need to mess up a picture just because I didn’t draw it up.
Negotiations seemed to shape most if not all of my day that made it longer.
My oldest brother stood up for me that day he stood out being sentimental, genuine and today I imagine reflexive.
That guy actually showed he cared about me, wasn’t afraid to cry like he kept going in that direction until I interrupted the flow.
Declared I am the one going to Prison what you crying for we both got a pause and a good laugh out of that one there!
Definitely wasn’t being rough and rugged just having balanced emotions was extremely important.
Sincerity goes a long way with me so I can appreciate him no agenda, truly unconditional no unresolved issues.
Good Conscious brings me to the Truth that I have an older brother that is a great stand up guy!
Wow this just keeps playing itself out.
Back to the laundry, it was important to select layers of clothes to put on so that I would have stuff to wear going in to the county jail.
I was only allowed a few “ religious materials” and personal effects.
I imagine I ate something nothing that I remember to this day.
I get very basic, practical and spiritual about what I eat, when, and especially with who. Meals have always been communal for me.
Streetlife even supports that mindset be careful about who you eat with.
There is something about people stuffing their faces and laughter symbolizes fancy yet phony like as in thick as thieves.
Loyalty brings me to saying this still feast or famine.
I share a birthday with a cousin and that was our thing even flashed in my mind the day
I heard they shot him down on his porch at the age of 68 yrs old.
Loyalty and this profound statement will surface as a common thread.
Tough love is not the least sometimes it’s the most you gonna get.
I really don’t believe the hug that I got from Mom was void of Love...it was just a different type like how many ways do you love a Black Man in America.
Especially one with so much potential to be great.
Guess I would say I would be malnourished if all I had to feed off was others.
Clearly I was reading all the signs of how important it was to take an account, stand up and move forward with new purpose.
Only statement I would make had to be matched with direct action.
I clearly stated I’m leaving only to return a better man.
The rest once I got motivated I traveled seemed like across a thousand lifetimes
to be taken into custody @ N.J. State Superior Court approx. 4:15 p.m. after court proceedings.
Yes with Sheriffs my official status was surrendered, placed in custody.
Streets don’t miss anyone... it’s just the legend.. every day another legend is born based on the story to be told. Truth be told behold the lure of the characters you meet when you living in these streets.
Transition happens to make change
Healing helps to ease the pain
Transformation allows one to find the way
Redemption is in the heart
well here I was at the crossroads see for me I was experiencing the longest day of my life.
I was convicted, aware of sentence and conveniently on posted bail.
Bail conditions were that I would remain “ free” in the community until date of surrender
in January 1998.
I know the day was long because prayer in congregation was before 5:00 a.m.
I read some until the laundromat on the corner opened at 7:00 a.m.
Chores wasn’t unusual in itself, being domestic no problem.
Delaying the inevitable wasn’t probable nor realistic.
I wasn’t on sabotage, rather on self preservation ( primary defenses)
human nature being as it may I was going to State Prison later that day,
but just not exactly at that moment.
Ever reminding me was Mom “ don’t you have somewhere to be”.
None of my thoughts were misdirected so I did internalize her statement.
I most likely had a valid and appropriate response, just didn’t voice it.
Like no I’m not going grocery shopping next!
I was in charge of me and with Faith not self destructive.
Up until this time I was more recently not self destructive and was
productive in the community, having quality times to nurture my only son
on occasion whenever possible.
Self discipline fosters balanced emotions that lead to responsible actions.
Now here it is with all that being said.
I was the only one responsible for surrendering myself to be taken into custody
in N.J. Superior Courthouse.
Imagine that contributed to the time spent reflecting, thinking, projecting even.
Thoughts were self centered quite naturally about time....”doing time”
So here I am on a rainy friday in January 1998 “playing phone tag”
Fat Kid was involved as the street representative what a politician that guy
making calls back and forth to the court clerk. Thanks for the effort and even
more not being in a position to drive me directly up to the front door.
The attempt was just to delay the inevitable the obvious it’s better to go and get it over with.
Reality was that another weekend was going to change my course.
I did have the mature decision inside of me all along to not let the posted bail be forfeited
and not returned.
I didn’t post the bail, didn’t ask for it to be posted, was grateful.
There was a motive that became exposed later, that part revealed itself
to be more about property, guilt and false expectations, mostly others and not mine.
Finally it was determined that I was in route but would miss the appointed court time but not be self defeating and miss the court date.
No need to mess up a picture just because I didn’t draw it up.
Negotiations seemed to shape most if not all of my day that made it longer.
My oldest brother stood up for me that day he stood out being sentimental, genuine and today I imagine reflexive.
That guy actually showed he cared about me, wasn’t afraid to cry like he kept going in that direction until I interrupted the flow.
Declared I am the one going to Prison what you crying for we both got a pause and a good laugh out of that one there!
Definitely wasn’t being rough and rugged just having balanced emotions was extremely important.
Sincerity goes a long way with me so I can appreciate him no agenda, truly unconditional no unresolved issues.
Good Conscious brings me to the Truth that I have an older brother that is a great stand up guy!
Wow this just keeps playing itself out.
Back to the laundry, it was important to select layers of clothes to put on so that I would have stuff to wear going in to the county jail.
I was only allowed a few “ religious materials” and personal effects.
I imagine I ate something nothing that I remember to this day.
I get very basic, practical and spiritual about what I eat, when, and especially with who. Meals have always been communal for me.
Streetlife even supports that mindset be careful about who you eat with.
There is something about people stuffing their faces and laughter symbolizes fancy yet phony like as in thick as thieves.
Loyalty brings me to saying this still feast or famine.
I share a birthday with a cousin and that was our thing even flashed in my mind the day
I heard they shot him down on his porch at the age of 68 yrs old.
Loyalty and this profound statement will surface as a common thread.
Tough love is not the least sometimes it’s the most you gonna get.
I really don’t believe the hug that I got from Mom was void of Love...it was just a different type like how many ways do you love a Black Man in America.
Especially one with so much potential to be great.
Guess I would say I would be malnourished if all I had to feed off was others.
Clearly I was reading all the signs of how important it was to take an account, stand up and move forward with new purpose.
Only statement I would make had to be matched with direct action.
I clearly stated I’m leaving only to return a better man.
The rest once I got motivated I traveled seemed like across a thousand lifetimes
to be taken into custody @ N.J. State Superior Court approx. 4:15 p.m. after court proceedings.
Yes with Sheriffs my official status was surrendered, placed in custody.
Streets don’t miss anyone... it’s just the legend.. every day another legend is born based on the story to be told. Truth be told behold the lure of the characters you meet when you living in these streets.
Transition happens to make change
Healing helps to ease the pain
Transformation allows one to find the way
Redemption is in the heart
TIME SERVED* v
Let’s see I made a phone call to the squad, basically to touch base and of course for the
BBlock Report.
Fat Kid was a consummate Street Reporter, he could stretch the truth, highlight the facts and exaggerate all in one breath.
The most amazing thing I discovered was how powerful Co-Dependency really is even to this day as a Therapist with 17 plus years experience.
See We had ties that bound us together...homies, on the road for 10 plus years.
Daily in the car each day by 10:00 a.m.
Many times destination unknown but at least it was scheduled right?
Our families went two generations back he himself was the same age ( 6 yrs older than me)
same as an older brother. That brother was pretty much absent as a positive influence
he was a free spirit on his own course ...so be it our paths would definitely cross again but I could have waited based on the outcome of that interaction. Sorry no details provided here not at this time anyway.
Purpose of my call was to break the monotony and to announce that my return wasn’t certain , but rather with favor.
Strong indication was I could be released pending the upcoming court date in July 1998,
The rest of the conversation only confirmed that major events for me would change dramatically by every means necessary.
Like nothing the Fat Kid reported surprised me at all and he didn’t even have to flavor it up for entertainment.
I kept command of the conversation for the most part while being encouraged that I had some hope of being released.
Again my focus was my being intent on creating a new lifestyle.
The Fat Kid seemed excited that he was maintaining connection like keeping rank of some sorts.
Leadership is where you find it even with misguidance comes direction not so much glorifying since our endeavors hadn’t been grounded in positive actions rather just results.
Price I was paying for right about now!
Here’s the funny part being a creature of habit, gossip hound, crazy stories for days, we could have went on and on.
I warned that time would be up soon and that we could get disconnected.
Fat Kid goes ok I’ll just call you back!
The expression on my face was priceless!
My thoughts stranger things happen...had happen..this time I think not!
Peace out.
BBlock Report.
Fat Kid was a consummate Street Reporter, he could stretch the truth, highlight the facts and exaggerate all in one breath.
The most amazing thing I discovered was how powerful Co-Dependency really is even to this day as a Therapist with 17 plus years experience.
See We had ties that bound us together...homies, on the road for 10 plus years.
Daily in the car each day by 10:00 a.m.
Many times destination unknown but at least it was scheduled right?
Our families went two generations back he himself was the same age ( 6 yrs older than me)
same as an older brother. That brother was pretty much absent as a positive influence
he was a free spirit on his own course ...so be it our paths would definitely cross again but I could have waited based on the outcome of that interaction. Sorry no details provided here not at this time anyway.
Purpose of my call was to break the monotony and to announce that my return wasn’t certain , but rather with favor.
Strong indication was I could be released pending the upcoming court date in July 1998,
The rest of the conversation only confirmed that major events for me would change dramatically by every means necessary.
Like nothing the Fat Kid reported surprised me at all and he didn’t even have to flavor it up for entertainment.
I kept command of the conversation for the most part while being encouraged that I had some hope of being released.
Again my focus was my being intent on creating a new lifestyle.
The Fat Kid seemed excited that he was maintaining connection like keeping rank of some sorts.
Leadership is where you find it even with misguidance comes direction not so much glorifying since our endeavors hadn’t been grounded in positive actions rather just results.
Price I was paying for right about now!
Here’s the funny part being a creature of habit, gossip hound, crazy stories for days, we could have went on and on.
I warned that time would be up soon and that we could get disconnected.
Fat Kid goes ok I’ll just call you back!
The expression on my face was priceless!
My thoughts stranger things happen...had happen..this time I think not!
Peace out.
Sunday, January 3, 2016
TIMED SERVED © iv
No war story
but no guts no glory
I had done the time ..well as much of it deemed necessary
Day began with preparing for scheduled court appearance to be either accepted or rejected for an intervention ...early release into the community program
ISP (Intense Supervised Parole)
Known in lesser skeptic circles as a set-up something like 1 out of 10 get approved 3 out of 10 complete.
Side note I was also on the transport list that same morning for a halfway house placement
Rule that out sorry can't occupy two places at the same time and my mind hadn't occupied that option.
I don't gamble period...had already
lived with too many risk,so I don't play odds...I play favor what else was there?
I prayed and believed I had favor.
Prison Guard was inspiring he was hesitant not so eager to shackle me up as we had a pickup at a maximum security prison.
I was on do whatever it takes.
Prison Guard offered input to assertive not passive yet avoid being arrogant...humility is key.
First time I was physically shackled in 4 months. Mind was stayed on freedom. I was being warehoused
in a medium-minimum security State facility near Wildwood N.J.
Full minimum status translates
eligible for campus style..work release and low risk population.
Every positive sign of flexibility
made breathing easier.
Tension was ever present a Prison Guard was killed so militarized efforts were noticeable.
Mass movement was considered a calculated risk factor with closer monitoring.
Other Prisoners remember less restrictions in their past prison stays.
My exact thoughts were focused on this being my first and last time.
See this wasn't arrest,detained. this right here was doing prison time.
Crime committed...convicted.
Official status time being served day by day.
One day at a time...just a moment to breathe. "I know discipline" kqs
but no guts no glory
I had done the time ..well as much of it deemed necessary
Day began with preparing for scheduled court appearance to be either accepted or rejected for an intervention ...early release into the community program
ISP (Intense Supervised Parole)
Known in lesser skeptic circles as a set-up something like 1 out of 10 get approved 3 out of 10 complete.
Side note I was also on the transport list that same morning for a halfway house placement
Rule that out sorry can't occupy two places at the same time and my mind hadn't occupied that option.
I don't gamble period...had already
lived with too many risk,so I don't play odds...I play favor what else was there?
I prayed and believed I had favor.
Prison Guard was inspiring he was hesitant not so eager to shackle me up as we had a pickup at a maximum security prison.
I was on do whatever it takes.
Prison Guard offered input to assertive not passive yet avoid being arrogant...humility is key.
First time I was physically shackled in 4 months. Mind was stayed on freedom. I was being warehoused
in a medium-minimum security State facility near Wildwood N.J.
Full minimum status translates
eligible for campus style..work release and low risk population.
Every positive sign of flexibility
made breathing easier.
Tension was ever present a Prison Guard was killed so militarized efforts were noticeable.
Mass movement was considered a calculated risk factor with closer monitoring.
Other Prisoners remember less restrictions in their past prison stays.
My exact thoughts were focused on this being my first and last time.
See this wasn't arrest,detained. this right here was doing prison time.
Crime committed...convicted.
Official status time being served day by day.
One day at a time...just a moment to breathe. "I know discipline" kqs
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